Elf
by Pysche
Summary: ONESHOT When Yami runs up Jiichan's credit card bill buying leather pants he's forced to get a job as an elf in the local mall. At least until Seto comes along with a better offer. SetoYami


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-gi-oh.

* * *

"_Yami, could you come here a minute, please? I need to speak with you."_

That was it. The moment that had sealed his doom. Though wealthy, all-powerful Pharaoh he might once have been, now that he was in modern-day Domino, Yami Mutou found his life to be a little different – most notably, having to live on a tight budget under the watchful eye of Yugi's Jii-chan. Unfortunately he had also acquired a taste for rather expensive leather pants.

"_Yami, do you have any idea how the credit card bill got so high? There seem to be quite a few charges from stores with… unusual names. I didn't know we had a 'Velvet Midnight' in Domino…"_

_The old man eyed Yami suspiciously and the other gulped, dropping his head in shame. "I was kind of… shopping online…"_

And that was why he was living in misery today. He should have lied; should have claimed to be the innocent victim of identity theft and hidden every suspicious article of clothing he owned until Jii-chan forgot about the bill; but for some reason Yami just _had_ to be honest. There was something about his damnable character – and Jii-chan's hikari-like enormous violet eyes – that made the ex-Pharaoh have to admit the truth, though now he was cursing every moral fiber of his being.

Jii-chan made him get a job.

Not just any job, mind you, but the most humiliating job possible.

An _elf_.

He was a Ra-forsaken, bell-wearing, glitter-cheeked green-clad _elf_ in the goddamn mall.

At least if he had been Santa he could have worn a hat and beard and concealed his identity from everyone. As it was, every single shopper in the bustling holiday season was witness to his humiliation as he reassured demanding parents that their children would most definitely get to see Santa 'somewhere within the next 10 minutes, no doubt about it' and walked around the busy mall in his red and green striped tights handing out fliers for photos with jolly old Father Christmas.

It was during one of those scheduled flier sweeps, after Yami had been working at the mall for three weeks or so, when things went from bad to worse. Yami was finishing up a promising encounter with an elderly couple and their grandchild when he heard behind him a horrifyingly familiar, sour voice.

"Mokuba, you've got to learn not to wait until a week before Christmas to do your shopping. The prices are higher, the crowds are horrible, and you can't even shop online because the shipping costs are ridiculous and you can't trust it to arrive on time. If I recall I told you several times to start your shopping."

"But Nii-sama! I _like_ shopping when it's busy! And I thought that telling me to get started was really more of a suggestion than…"

The voices came to an abrupt halt directly behind him and Yami pretended not to notice, instead waving cheerfully at the old couple as they walked off in the opposite direction and praying the familiar voices were just a figment of his imagination. _Maybe they aren't really there, maybe won't recognize me, maybe they'll just keep walking_…

"Yugi?"

No such luck. Yami cringed visibly but turned around, forcing a smile that didn't reach his tired crimson eyes. "Hello Kaiba, Mokuba."

"Oh, it's _you_." The tall, annoyingly good-looking brunet stared down at Yami, one finely shaped brown eyebrow raised in a delicate arc. "Your fashion sense has gotten even weirder since the last time we dueled," Kaiba observed snidely. His little brother gaped at Yami in astonishment.

The spiky-haired ex-Pharaoh simply smiled sweetly and handed the brunet a flier. "Until 3pm today only, 15 percent off your purchase of photos at Santa's Workshop when you buy a package worth 30 dollars or more."

Yami then turned and walked away, his angry steps punctuated by the jingling of tiny bells sewn into the heels of his floppy green shoes.

**456456456**

He'd thought – well, more like hoped and prayed – that that was the end of his humiliating encounter with the Kaibas, especially since he didn't see them the rest of the day, even as he continued his rounds around the mall. But, much to his annoyance, the next day around noon found Seto Kaiba lounging lazily on the portable white picket fence that surrounded Santa's Workshop. He stared, not even pretending to have a legitimate reason for his presence, while Yami escorted a bawling three-year-old from Santa's lap back to his parents.

The spiky-haired male tried to ignore him, but after ten minutes of his silent stares Yami finally whirled and glared at the brunet. "What?" he snapped. "What are you doing here, Kaiba?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you," the other replied airily, unfazed by Yami's death-glare. "What time is your break?"

Yami hesitated. "In half an hour. But I don't see why…"

"Great. I'll bring food." With that Kaiba turned and walked away, raising the back of his hand in silent farewell as he disappeared into the crowd, leaving Yami blinking after him and wondering if he'd somehow agreed to a lunch date without his knowledge.

**456456456**

It was a free lunch. It was a free lunch. Yami was getting a good, _free_ lunch.

But with the way those blue eyes kept staring at him, he wasn't so sure it was worth it.

He finally put down his sandwich and sighed, meeting Kaiba's gaze. "What?"

The brunet smirked. "Oh, nothing." Yami shot him a disbelieving frown but started eating again, keeping one wary eye on his lunch partner, who didn't even pretend to eat his own food, seemingly content to stare at Yami for the next ten minutes. Finally, as Yami collected his trash and opened his mouth to tell Kaiba he was going back to work, the other spoke again. "I assume you're working off some sort of debt?"

Yami almost started but caught himself in time, instead narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest. "What business is it of yours?" he snapped, adding hastily, "Not that I am, anyhow."

Kaiba brushed off the comment with a wave of his hand. "Of course you are. You had to be completely desperate to get a job here."

"Once again, Kaiba, I don't see how it's any of your business."

"I'll pay it off. However much it is."

Yami opened his mouth, hesitated, and shut it again. After repeating this process at least three times, he finally managed one word. "…Why?"

With that, Kaiba leaned forward and grinned – the wickedest, most threatening grin Yami had ever seen on anyone, and that included the Tomb Robber and Malik's psychotic other half. "Because, I'd rather you work for me."

**456456456**

"_The KaibaCorp Christmas party is on the 23rd. All you have to do is come and help pass out drinks and gifts to the employees. Of course, you'll be expected to provide a little entertainment as well, and since you're already familiar with elf attire…"_

That had been his second mistake. Actually, agreeing to anything Kaiba ever suggested, ever, was probably a mistake… but one night of humiliation, in Yami's eyes, was far better than the weeks of misery he would endure dressing as a mall elf and doing Ra-knew-what after to pay off his bill.

"_One night; three, maybe four hours, that's all. And I'll pay whatever you owe."_

It seemed too good to be true – and Yami knew it probably was. Yet as it were he didn't have much of a choice, either, so of course he accepted Kaiba's offer and immediately went back to Santa's Workshop and quit, the bells on his feet tinkling happily as he practically ran from the mall.

Now however, for at least the thousandth time since Jii-chan had caught him, Yami was lamenting ever buying all those clothes. Leather pants were ridiculous, anyhow – impractical, uncomfortable and expensive.

But damn, did they ever make his butt look good.

Anyhow, the moment Yami had arrived at the giant room in the Domino Community Center that KaibaCorp had rented for the party he knew that he was in for a night of pure hell, regardless of the fact that this agreement was the lesser of two evils. Judging from the decorations alone – Christmas lights strung in intricate webs from floor to ceiling, a Christmas tree in every corner, and several random sprigs of mistletoe, to name a few – Seto had gone all out for this party, and a small, selfish part of Yami told him that this was somehow planned to further his humiliation.

"Ah, so you finally made it."

Yami turned at the sound and his breath caught at the sight of Seto – _why_ was the jerk so gorgeous? It just wasn't fair – smirking down at him from his impressive height. The brunet was dressed casually for the evening in a dark green turtleneck sweater and a pair of black slacks made of some sort of thick canvas material. When Yami nodded sullenly the other's smirk widened into a wicked grin. "And you're wearing your elf outfit."

The former Pharaoh nodded sulkily once again. Kaiba had told him he would be dressing as an elf for the party, and he had had to buy his own uniform at the mall anyway so he had worn the outfit to save time. Plus he didn't want to risk any crazy perverted outfits that the CEO might make him wear to get revenge.

Besides, the costume he already had was more than embarrassing enough. It consisted of a skintight bright green bodysuit, a short green faux-fur lined vest that barely reached the bottom of his ribcage, and a pair of green, fur-lined short shorts, not to mention the obligatory bell-tipped shoes and hat. Yami sighed. "So, Kaiba, what do you want me to do?"

Seto gave a miniscule shrug. "You're a waiter, basically; the caterer will give you trays of drinks and you take them around to the employees and pick up the empty glasses." The wicked grin reappeared with a brilliant flash of teeth. "And of course you stand around and look pretty."

"Look pretty… _Kaiba_!" Yami growled at the other's teasing, but Seto merely gave him a sarcastic two-fingered salute and walked away.

**456456456**

Two hours later, Yami was on his sixth tray of alcoholic drinks, his eleventh circuit of a room full of drunken KaibaCorp employees, and his last nerve. He had been getting lascivious stares and lewd comments ever since the alcohol started flowing – and even before then; Yami wouldn't be surprised if a few people had arrived already drunk – and by now his butt and thighs were positively raw from perverted idiots pinching and grabbing them. And Yami couldn't even mind crush them, either, since he was certain that Kaiba wouldn't pay him if he did.

Gritting his teeth, Yami set the empty tray down on a table and began collecting dirty glasses. He was determined to make it through this night, if only to spite Kaiba. The jerk had probably told his employees to grope Yami, just for a laugh.

"Hey… hey elf," a slurred voice called from over Yami's shoulder.

"Yes?" Yami replied, turning and raising an eyebrow at the grinning, disheveled man.

"You… you see that room over there?" The man pointed in the vague direction of the wall; though in scanning the wall the spiky-haired male spotted a door.

"I think that's a closet," Yami answered and went back to cleaning up.

"Yeah! Closet! Umm… You should… umm… There's drinks in there you needa get!" He grinned triumphantly at the completion of his sentence.

Yami just rolled his eyes. "Why would there be drinks in the closet?"

The man looked around before leaning in conspiratorially so that Yami could smell the alcohol on his breath and whispering, "People were _in_ there. You know."

"Oh." The former Pharaoh made a face. "Alright then, thank you." He sighed and picked up his tray, heading for the closet to collect the glasses and trying not to think about what might have happened in there. But when he opened the door all he saw was a musty old room stuffed with cleaning supplies; no evidence that anyone had been inside recently other than himself.

"That's weird… Hey!" Yami yelped in surprise when the door behind him slammed shut, plunging the room into darkness. He spun around and tripped over a broom handle, sending him flying toward the wall only to crash into something warm that let out a muffled grunt. "Who's in here?" he demanded.

The other let out a low chuckle in reply, and to Yami's horror arms wrapped around his waist and drew him toward a body that reeked strongly of alcohol. "No need to fuss, Pretty. We're gon' have lotsa fun."

Recognizing the man's voice as the one who sent him to the closet, Yami growled. "Open that door right now!"

"Aww but we haven't even gotten started, Pretty," he purred.

"What kind of stupid nickname is that? Stop calling me that! And you'd better open that door right now or I'll— Ack!" Yami felt something wet against his neck and leapt backwards, stumbling over a bucket and managing to kick the man in the shins. "Don't touch me!"

The other merely laughed, groping blindly in the dark until he found Yami and proceeded to run his hands all over the smaller male's body. "Know you like it…" he slurred.

Yami shoved him away again, knocking several boxes of cleaning supplies off their shelves, and fumbled around wildly in search of the door. But once again he tripped on something in the middle of the floor and fell backward, landing sprawled on his back and winded – which gave the other man plenty of time to find him and crawl on top of him, chuckling madly all the while. His hands found Yami's cheeks and he leaned in for an alcohol-flavored kiss, but Yami's hands pushing on his chest kept him from making contact.

"That's it," Yami growled. "I'm out of patience. I don't care if Kaiba fires me for mind crushing you."

"Ha-ha, that's funny… Ooh, what's that on your forehead? It's real pretty…"

**456456456**

When Yami found Seto, the brunet was standing by himself in a corner of the room, sipping on a glass of some clear liquid and humming under his breath along with the tune that played over the loudspeakers. When he noticed Yami he nodded and grinned at the smaller male, watching him through expressionless, half-lidded eyes. "Yami. How's the party going so far?"

Yami pointedly brushed the dust off his shoulders and rearranged his hat, which had been drooping dangerously to one side, before he glared at Kaiba. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm quitting. Thanks for the opportunity but it's not working out, so… bye." He spun on a heel and started to walk away but Seto grabbed his arm.

"Wait! What do you mean it's not working out, what happened?" He tugged Yami closer, not letting go of his arm.

"Go look in the janitor's closet and see for yourself," Yami snapped, tugging on his arm, but Seto held it tight.

"What does that mean?" His brilliant blue eyes narrowed in confusion.

"It means one of your stupid drunk workers dragged me into the closet and tried to molest me, so he's lying there with his face in a mop bucket and his mind off in the Shadow Realm somewhere!"

The blue eyes widened at that. "He tried to molest you?"

"Yes he did, and I'm not sorry I mind crushed him. I'm not some pleasure toy for these people, Kaiba, so you can just keep your money, I quit!" With that Yami gave another violent tug at his arm, trying to free it from the CEO's grasp, but Kaiba still held fast.

"Wait… Yami, wait. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for anything like that to happen. I just wanted to see you in that elf suit some more… I just wanted… I wanted…" He trailed off, staring at Yami with a strangely intense gaze, which Yami defiantly held – for about a minute, until curiosity got the better of him.

"Seto?"

The other blinked, but didn't break their eye contact, or even let go of Yami's arm like the smaller male had hoped – it was starting to fall asleep from Kaiba's tight grip. Instead the intense expression morphed into determination and in a flash Yami realized what Seto intended to do. His eyes widened and he tried to back away, giving the brunet a warning glare. "Kaiba! Don't even think about— mmph!"

But it was too late; the brunet's lips descended on his, unfortunately even catching his mouth open since Yami had been in the middle of a sentence, which gave Seto ample opportunity to slide his tongue inside Yami's mouth, tickling and tasting for a few brief seconds before Yami's common sense returned and he realized he could turn his head.

Of course that resulted in Kaiba licking his cheek.

"Ugh! Kaiba!" Yami raised a hand – thankfully freed by this time – and wiped the spit from his cheek. "What do you think you're doing? You're drunk, too, aren't you?"

"No; Yami—"

"Please don't. Just… don't."

"But—"

"I'm tired of being attacked by drunks. I'm going home." Yami wiped his mouth, rubbing away the last traces of Kaiba's tongue, and walked away.

The bells on his shoes jingled with every step.

**456456456**

"Until noon today only! Fifty percent off all merchandise at the Kame Game Shop! Deals you wouldn't believe! Take advantage of these insane after-Christmas prices!"

9am on December 26 found Yami humiliating himself once again for money. Though at least he could wear normal clothes – specifically his favorite pair of leather pants and a sufficiently warm sweater and jacket – instead of some horrifying costume. The night of Kaiba's party Yami had come home so angry he was practically in tears, and after Jii-chan saw the state his adopted grandson was in and listened to – a slightly edited version of – Yami's experiences with working for Kaiba, the old man had pity on him and agreed to let Yami work off the rest of his debt by helping him out at the game shop.

Which meant he'd been standing on the sidewalk since 6am handing out fliers and gushing about after-Christmas sales. However, he'd actually managed to bring in a lot of business, especially from families with young children or teenage girls who adored the King of Games. He smiled and waved at a young girl, barely old enough to toddle along on her own, who stared up at him in wonder as she and her mother left the shop, the woman heavily laden with shopping bags.

"Well, isn't that cute." At the familiar drawl Yami stiffened, turning around to see Seto standing behind him, his hair whipping in the slight breeze and his arms crossed across his chest. "I see you got a new job," Seto observed as the breeze increased, making Yami shiver and causing the tail of Seto's long black duster coat to rise and flutter in the wind.

"What are you doing here, Kaiba?" Yami sighed, turning away from him for a moment to hand some fliers to a couple of passersby.

When he turned back, Seto was standing uncomfortably close. "I came to give you your paycheck."

Yami took a large step away. "What paycheck? I quit before the night was over."

"I'll admit you were provoked. Besides, we agreed that if you came and worked for me I would pay off your debt to the old man. We never specified that you had to stay through the end of the party."

"I assumed it was a given," Yami retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Seto merely shrugged and reached in his coat pocket, pulling out a check. "Do you want it or should I give it to the old man?"

"I'm not taking that, Kaiba. I didn't finish the job."

"Old man it is." He pushed past Yami, barely slowing his steps even when the smaller male grabbed his arm and pulled with all his might. Seto just walked up to where Jii-chan stood behind the counter, Yami dangling behind the CEO like so much dead weight.

"Kaiba?" Jii-chan asked, his thick gray eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What are you and Yami doing?"

"I've come to give Yami his check; he said to give it to you."

"Don't listen to him, Jii-chan!" Yami cried.

But the old man took the slip of paper Seto handed to him, letting out a low whistle when he saw the amount. "Wow. Okay then, Yami, looks like you're free. Go off and have fun."

"What?" He let go of Seto's arm. "Jii-chan, you can't take that from him! He—" The bell on the door sounded and Yami spun to see the CEO walking out onto the sidewalk. "Wait! Kaiba, get back here!"

He ran after the brunet and caught up with him on the sidewalk just before he reached the limousine that was parked about a half a block from the game shop entrance. "Kaiba!" Yami grabbed the back of Seto's coat and pulled, forcing the other to turn and face him. "Seto, you have to take that check back."

"Why?" The CEO seemed unconcerned, merely grabbing Yami's wrist and untangling the fingers from his coat. He kept his hold on Yami's wrist afterwards.

"Because I won't accept pity money from you just because you feel guilty about getting drunk and kissing me!"

Seto's eyes flashed. Then he took a step forward, well into Yami's personal space, and bent his head until he was almost eye-level with the shorter male. "I don't drink alcohol. Ever."

Yami's crimson eyes widened until they resembled his hikari's. "You mean… you weren't…"

"I hate the taste and I hate the effects. So no, I don't drink."

"Then why…"

"Why did I kiss you? I don't know, maybe because I _wanted_ to? Maybe because you looked so damn hot in that stupid elf costume? Maybe because I might actually _like _you?"

"You… like me?" Yami's brain seemed to have frozen; he was finding it hard to process what Kaiba was saying.

"Maybe."

"Kissed me… and paid for… leather pants?"

Seto burst into rather snide laughter. "_That's_ what you spent so much money on? I should have known."

"Hey! I can't help it that they're so expensive, I—"

"Yami?" Seto interrupted, giving him a thoughtful look.

"Hmm?"

"The old man told you to go have fun…" For a moment he hesitated, an uncharacteristically vulnerable expression flashing across his face for the briefest of seconds before Seto regained his usual smirk and wrapped his arm around Yami's waist. "I just might know where there are some leather pants on sale. If you'd like to come with me, I might be convinced to buy you some…"

Yami grinned. "I'm all yours!"

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**A/n:**And that's Seto's way of asking Yami on a date... I guess. Heh. Lol this story spent a lot of time discussing leather pants,didn't it?I thought about naming this fic "Let's all torture Yami and make fun of his pants," but I wasn't too sure how that'd go over. :P Anyway please review! 


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